If you know me, you know that my intentions are always good, and that I always try to do the best for my family, but I am a terrible housekeeper. And it's not that I don't try, because I do. I just can never quite catch up. Another problem is the clutter in my house.
I'm so incredibly tired of it. But I look around, and I don't know where to start, and I give up before I even start. It's infinitely frustrating, and it's a hole I've dug myself into, and can't get out of alone.
Enter The Flylady.
I've been hearing about her for a couple of years now, and did a little research on her web site, and then in true Jerri fashion, I bought her book, Sink reflections. She's someone who's been there, done that, and come out on the other side happy. So, what can it hurt? At worst, I have another book to add to my clutter. At best, I have a clean, orderly, happy home.
I officially became a FLYbaby tonight. My first two baby steps, shine my sink, and lay out my clothes for tomorrow are done. I will read the next chapter tomorrow. :)
I love The Flylady (aka, Marla Cilley). She is so incredibly positive. And it's about more than just having a clean organized house. It's about Finally Loving Yourself. I want to fly more than anything. What a sweet reward that will be for me, because I haven't been FLYing in a very very long time. Here's to the journey. Baby steps, baby steps.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I think I've got it figured out
It's funny how life is. There are an awful lot of nights when I feel like I'm going nonstop from the time the alarm goes off (okay, after the second snooze) to the time I put my head to pillow at night. I complain that I haven't gotten one solitary moment of quiet time, let alone ten minutes to myself. It seems like run, run, run, and like I've got so much to do. It's like all I want to do is sit, just for a minute.
But then, Lucas goes away for a week. And I'm convinced that if I have to sit in the silence alone for any longer, I'm going to explode! And then I seek out things to do to keep myself busy to pass the time until he's home!
The worst thing about being a divorced parent is that you have to share. No matter how long we've been doing this, I just cannot get the hang of it. I do understand that I still have Jacob, and that I don't have to share him beyond the walls of my own home if I don't choose to. But it's not the same. It's hard to be a mother of two when one of them is gone.
Don't get me wrong. I do not have a favorite child. My boys occupy my entire heart and mind in equal parts. I love them equally; I just love the different things about them.
Lucas was my first baby. He was the only good thing resulting from a very poor poor choice I made at far too young an age. He was what kept me going when I didn't want to do anything. He showed me a part of the world I'd never seen, when I wasn't sure I wanted to be part of the world at all. He was my reason for everything, and he taught me how to be happy again.
Jacob is my miracle baby. He is the baby I wanted so badly in my heart, but never thought I'd actually ever have. He marks the miracle of what I've come through in my marriage, and what I don't want to leave behind. I love his smile, and his infectious little laugh. He has taught me gratitude again.
I adore being a mother. I think that this could be my life's calling. Not only do I love being a mom, I love being a mom to MY BOYS. They're just incredible. They bring the best out of me, and I want nothing more than to give the best of myself to them. The smiles, laughter, wrestling, dancing, kisses and cuddles are worth any amount of mess and responsibility. They are so much a part of me that when one of them is gone, I truly feel like I am not whole. I shouldn't complain about the nonstop things I have to do. I should be grateful for the reasons that I'm doing these things. And I am grateful. Sometimes, though, life gets hectic and I take things for granted, like the fact that both of my boys will be here when I wake in the morning.
So, for the next couple of days, I will clean and scrub and rearrange everything in my house. And when Lucas comes home on Saturday, we will go sledding, or take some other adventure. And when I'm done with the dinners and packing lunches, and giving baths and washing laundry and ironing clothes, I will snuggle up with my boys, and all will be right with the world again. I might be mopey now, but I will be better soon. And I won't complain about everything I have to do.... not right away at least...
But then, Lucas goes away for a week. And I'm convinced that if I have to sit in the silence alone for any longer, I'm going to explode! And then I seek out things to do to keep myself busy to pass the time until he's home!
The worst thing about being a divorced parent is that you have to share. No matter how long we've been doing this, I just cannot get the hang of it. I do understand that I still have Jacob, and that I don't have to share him beyond the walls of my own home if I don't choose to. But it's not the same. It's hard to be a mother of two when one of them is gone.
Don't get me wrong. I do not have a favorite child. My boys occupy my entire heart and mind in equal parts. I love them equally; I just love the different things about them.
Lucas was my first baby. He was the only good thing resulting from a very poor poor choice I made at far too young an age. He was what kept me going when I didn't want to do anything. He showed me a part of the world I'd never seen, when I wasn't sure I wanted to be part of the world at all. He was my reason for everything, and he taught me how to be happy again.
Jacob is my miracle baby. He is the baby I wanted so badly in my heart, but never thought I'd actually ever have. He marks the miracle of what I've come through in my marriage, and what I don't want to leave behind. I love his smile, and his infectious little laugh. He has taught me gratitude again.
I adore being a mother. I think that this could be my life's calling. Not only do I love being a mom, I love being a mom to MY BOYS. They're just incredible. They bring the best out of me, and I want nothing more than to give the best of myself to them. The smiles, laughter, wrestling, dancing, kisses and cuddles are worth any amount of mess and responsibility. They are so much a part of me that when one of them is gone, I truly feel like I am not whole. I shouldn't complain about the nonstop things I have to do. I should be grateful for the reasons that I'm doing these things. And I am grateful. Sometimes, though, life gets hectic and I take things for granted, like the fact that both of my boys will be here when I wake in the morning.
So, for the next couple of days, I will clean and scrub and rearrange everything in my house. And when Lucas comes home on Saturday, we will go sledding, or take some other adventure. And when I'm done with the dinners and packing lunches, and giving baths and washing laundry and ironing clothes, I will snuggle up with my boys, and all will be right with the world again. I might be mopey now, but I will be better soon. And I won't complain about everything I have to do.... not right away at least...
Sunday, December 27, 2009
2010 looking ahead
So, once again, the new year is upon us. A couple of years ago, I gave up making resolutions, because by March or April, I had always broken them. There's a funny thing about me. I'm one of those all or nothing kind of people. Generally speaking, if I fall off the wagon, I don't even try to get back on. Sigh. I look at that, and it's so embarassing to say it, but I'm a quitter. Yes, my name is Jerri, and I am a quitter.
I've been taking stock of a lot of things lately, and I asked myself, is that the kind of person I want to be? Is that the kind of example I want to set for my boys? Do I want my actions to tell them that if they're struggling, if something seems too hard, that they should give up? Do I want to show them that a set back is the end? No.... I want my boys to to work hard and I want them to know that they can acheive everything they want in life.... and I want them to know that so can I. Which brings me to my resolutions for the year.
1. better cooking--better choices. I want to experiment with new fruits and vegetables, and cooking them in new ways. In the spring, summer and fall months, I will venture to local farmers markets for my produce to support local growers and local economy. I will try new recipes, new ingredients, and have fun in my kitchen. If I can't have a garden here where I live, I will plow up my mom's back yard, and grow veggies there, too.
2. become more eco friendly--and budget friendly; it's not too late to start, right? I will find creative ways to recycle as much of our stuff as possible, and will also devise a system for traditional recycling. I will upcycle clothing and furniture, and the things I need to buy, I will buy secondhand through craigslist, freecycle, and thrift stores. Additionally, I will give back to the local community by donating unwanted and unused household goods, clothes, etc., to goodwill or on freecycle, and by selling some things on craigslist.
3. the weight one--it's really time. I did it once, and I did it the wrong way, but I need to lose some of this excess weight before the summer time. Jacob will be crawling and walking before I know it, and in the summer time, I would love to be able to go play football or tee ball with Lucas, and be able to keep up with him. I want to do it because I want to look better, and I want to *feel* better. I need to do it for myself, and more importantly, I need to do it for my boys. Plus, Matt's in a wedding this summer. It's gonna be a gorgeous wedding, and I'm here to tell you that my husband cleans up REALLY nicely. I mean, he's for real hot. So when we dance together, I should look equally hot--in a new dress (purchased from regular racks, or at least a much smaller size in the plus section), and definitely with new shoes. We'll call it a reward.
4. family time--there will be more. It's no secret that I love to spend time with my family. I love my boys--all three of them. Unfortunately, there's only a couple days a week where we all get to be together. This year, I vow to make the very very best of these days/nights. Whether it be family game night, or dancing in the kitchen, we will do something together every week. And when I can, I will spend time with each of my boys individually, doing something special. Lucas and I will start fun projects. Jacob and I will develop his skills towards his milestones. Or maybe my boys and I will just snuggle up for a movie. No matter what, they will know they are loved. And so will my husband. When we can go out for a date, we will. If we can't, we'll make our own date at home. He's something special, and I should show it to him.
5. blessings--count them. This year, it's time to adopt an attitude of gratitude. An attitude of prayer. I am blessed--infinitely--with a beautiful, healthy family, and with the most incredible friends. It's gonna be a good future.
I've been taking stock of a lot of things lately, and I asked myself, is that the kind of person I want to be? Is that the kind of example I want to set for my boys? Do I want my actions to tell them that if they're struggling, if something seems too hard, that they should give up? Do I want to show them that a set back is the end? No.... I want my boys to to work hard and I want them to know that they can acheive everything they want in life.... and I want them to know that so can I. Which brings me to my resolutions for the year.
1. better cooking--better choices. I want to experiment with new fruits and vegetables, and cooking them in new ways. In the spring, summer and fall months, I will venture to local farmers markets for my produce to support local growers and local economy. I will try new recipes, new ingredients, and have fun in my kitchen. If I can't have a garden here where I live, I will plow up my mom's back yard, and grow veggies there, too.
2. become more eco friendly--and budget friendly; it's not too late to start, right? I will find creative ways to recycle as much of our stuff as possible, and will also devise a system for traditional recycling. I will upcycle clothing and furniture, and the things I need to buy, I will buy secondhand through craigslist, freecycle, and thrift stores. Additionally, I will give back to the local community by donating unwanted and unused household goods, clothes, etc., to goodwill or on freecycle, and by selling some things on craigslist.
3. the weight one--it's really time. I did it once, and I did it the wrong way, but I need to lose some of this excess weight before the summer time. Jacob will be crawling and walking before I know it, and in the summer time, I would love to be able to go play football or tee ball with Lucas, and be able to keep up with him. I want to do it because I want to look better, and I want to *feel* better. I need to do it for myself, and more importantly, I need to do it for my boys. Plus, Matt's in a wedding this summer. It's gonna be a gorgeous wedding, and I'm here to tell you that my husband cleans up REALLY nicely. I mean, he's for real hot. So when we dance together, I should look equally hot--in a new dress (purchased from regular racks, or at least a much smaller size in the plus section), and definitely with new shoes. We'll call it a reward.
4. family time--there will be more. It's no secret that I love to spend time with my family. I love my boys--all three of them. Unfortunately, there's only a couple days a week where we all get to be together. This year, I vow to make the very very best of these days/nights. Whether it be family game night, or dancing in the kitchen, we will do something together every week. And when I can, I will spend time with each of my boys individually, doing something special. Lucas and I will start fun projects. Jacob and I will develop his skills towards his milestones. Or maybe my boys and I will just snuggle up for a movie. No matter what, they will know they are loved. And so will my husband. When we can go out for a date, we will. If we can't, we'll make our own date at home. He's something special, and I should show it to him.
5. blessings--count them. This year, it's time to adopt an attitude of gratitude. An attitude of prayer. I am blessed--infinitely--with a beautiful, healthy family, and with the most incredible friends. It's gonna be a good future.
some projects
Well, my current project SHOULD be cleaning this house so that the kids can mess it up freshly, but.... I'm pretty unmotivated right now. Lucas is gone until January second, and no matter what I do, and no matter how many times it happens, I'm just a mess without him.
So, what better way to put off doing my cleaning than to show off some projects?? Oh, wait.... I need to figure out how to add pictures to this, don't I?? Well, I hope this works.
The first is a Christmas gift I made for Lucas' kindergarten teacher. I loved the idea of personalized notepads (or personalized anything, really), but didn't have a whole lot of time. So, I made my own!! It was very easy, very inexpensive, but totally worth it for the end result. So here are the two notepads I made for her (hopefully). Pardon my messy table.
Next, is a picture of part of a rag quilt I made for my sister. I did it a little differently this time. Rather than making sandwiches out of the squares, I just sewed the top, and then added a fleece backing. I thought that might make it warmer, and since this was much bigger than what I'm used to doing, and I don't have one of those really nice swing arm sewing machines, it was a bit easier and faster. Perhaps next year I will get one for Christmas??
I've made some other rag quilts as well... Mostly baby sized ones. Someday, I'll upload those pictures, too.
Okay, seriously.... i have to clean now. No, really. I will. I promise. Maybe.
So, what better way to put off doing my cleaning than to show off some projects?? Oh, wait.... I need to figure out how to add pictures to this, don't I?? Well, I hope this works.
The first is a Christmas gift I made for Lucas' kindergarten teacher. I loved the idea of personalized notepads (or personalized anything, really), but didn't have a whole lot of time. So, I made my own!! It was very easy, very inexpensive, but totally worth it for the end result. So here are the two notepads I made for her (hopefully). Pardon my messy table.
Next, is a picture of part of a rag quilt I made for my sister. I did it a little differently this time. Rather than making sandwiches out of the squares, I just sewed the top, and then added a fleece backing. I thought that might make it warmer, and since this was much bigger than what I'm used to doing, and I don't have one of those really nice swing arm sewing machines, it was a bit easier and faster. Perhaps next year I will get one for Christmas??
I've made some other rag quilts as well... Mostly baby sized ones. Someday, I'll upload those pictures, too.
Okay, seriously.... i have to clean now. No, really. I will. I promise. Maybe.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Hooray
Hooray, a blog! I haven't done this since I was an idealistic college kid, so this should be interesting to say the very least.
I love being a mom. It is absolutely the greatest joy in my life to have my two little guys. And I want to make their childhood something special, so that when they are grown men, they can look back and say, "yeah. I really liked that stuff my family did together," or something of that nature. I want them to look back and have more fond memories than bad. So, there are times when I go overboard with the whole idea, and of course, there are times when it all turns out just the way I had envisioned.
This year, I was all about starting traditions. We have our little family now all in place, and I thought.... Christmas is a good time for traditions. My favorite idea was to put silly string in everyone's stocking, and after presents were opened Chistmas morning, we would have a silly string fight. In theory, this was a marvelous idea because a) it's messy, b) it's easy to clean up. You just let it dry and then wipe and vacuum it off, and c) i defy anyone to squirt silly string at another person, and not laugh about it. So, great idea, right? Uh... well... maybe.
It would seem that Lucas' can of silly string was defective, so I selflessly gave him mine (I can't send my child into battle unarmed!). He looked at Matt, pointed the can at him, and depressed the nozzle. Only the nozzle was turned. Towards Jacob. Who took a direct stream of green silly string to the face. And it wasn't just one shot, either. Oh, no. Lucas had tunnel vision on Matt, who was, for some reason unbeknownst to Lucas, dissappointingly devoid of green goop. His solution? Press the nozzle down harder. And so, Jacob's entire face became encrusted in green silly string.
Fear not, the tot did not ingest or aspirate any thing he shouldn't have. And once he was over the initial shock and scare of it, he was a very good little sport, especially as the mishap ended in a shower and cuddle time with mommy, which happens to be two of his favorite things, right behind food, and jumping.
I wish I could say that I had the presence of mind to have taken pictures, or better yet video, of the entire debacle as we would have surely been $10,000 richer courtesy of AFV, but I was alternating between laughter and horror at the scene. And somehow, I don't think Jacob is willing to reenact it. But it is a memory that will have me chuckling for quite some time to come. Like I said... sometimes it turns out just the way I want it. Sometimes.... not so much!
I love being a mom. It is absolutely the greatest joy in my life to have my two little guys. And I want to make their childhood something special, so that when they are grown men, they can look back and say, "yeah. I really liked that stuff my family did together," or something of that nature. I want them to look back and have more fond memories than bad. So, there are times when I go overboard with the whole idea, and of course, there are times when it all turns out just the way I had envisioned.
This year, I was all about starting traditions. We have our little family now all in place, and I thought.... Christmas is a good time for traditions. My favorite idea was to put silly string in everyone's stocking, and after presents were opened Chistmas morning, we would have a silly string fight. In theory, this was a marvelous idea because a) it's messy, b) it's easy to clean up. You just let it dry and then wipe and vacuum it off, and c) i defy anyone to squirt silly string at another person, and not laugh about it. So, great idea, right? Uh... well... maybe.
It would seem that Lucas' can of silly string was defective, so I selflessly gave him mine (I can't send my child into battle unarmed!). He looked at Matt, pointed the can at him, and depressed the nozzle. Only the nozzle was turned. Towards Jacob. Who took a direct stream of green silly string to the face. And it wasn't just one shot, either. Oh, no. Lucas had tunnel vision on Matt, who was, for some reason unbeknownst to Lucas, dissappointingly devoid of green goop. His solution? Press the nozzle down harder. And so, Jacob's entire face became encrusted in green silly string.
Fear not, the tot did not ingest or aspirate any thing he shouldn't have. And once he was over the initial shock and scare of it, he was a very good little sport, especially as the mishap ended in a shower and cuddle time with mommy, which happens to be two of his favorite things, right behind food, and jumping.
I wish I could say that I had the presence of mind to have taken pictures, or better yet video, of the entire debacle as we would have surely been $10,000 richer courtesy of AFV, but I was alternating between laughter and horror at the scene. And somehow, I don't think Jacob is willing to reenact it. But it is a memory that will have me chuckling for quite some time to come. Like I said... sometimes it turns out just the way I want it. Sometimes.... not so much!
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